Just pretend that I've made an adequate introduction here, and we can move swiftly onwards.
Vista is a peice of shit. Well, figurativley speaking.
But seriously, who needs to be asked three times is they're absolutley SURE they want to open a controll panel program?
RRRGGGG.
In other news, in PDH/PE (Phisical Development and Health/Physical Exercise) we're doing theory, and in those godforsaken hellholes they have the indecency to call classrooms they are trying to teach us how relationships work.
This, according to my father, is something that should be learned at home, and by example. It's certianly something that can't be taught out of a textbook, and he most strongly disagrees with the school trying to tell me how to live our lives.
They asked us, at one point, to list things we would find UNACCEPTABLE and UNCHANGABLE OBSTACLES in a relationship. There were many jokes, like cancer, herpes, exploding eyeball syndrome, having deep rooted psychological issiues that lead to near-terminal seizures every time the word cake is said in their vicinity, and my favourite, having large dogs for feet. Think about that, and then about how stupid a question it was to ask.
Then they talked about compromise. Therefore Alex and I devised a situation where the Biker, A, wants to set fire to a kitten and Doting Girlfriend, B, wants to save it. A suitable compromise would be either
Only lightly burning it or
Burning the next one they came across.
Somehow, despite the fact that this fit all the guidelines we had been given, the teacher frowned upon this one. Maybe she doesn't like kittens.
More jokes ahead. When they talked about conflict, and asked for examples, I made a few America-Iraq jokes like "Oil causes conflict!". This was also true, and frowned upon.
They really need to stop teaching us stuff we already know, because I get bored and make satirical comments all lesson, making the teachers think I'm either retarded, a delinquent or don't understand the topic. They're not far off in any of the cases.
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oday's annoying blog-unrelated comment is entitled:
ReplyDelete"Choppin'"
I ask you, the reader, this; Have you ever been choppin'?
I myself went choppin', and it was unbelievably satisfactory.
Here is a description of choppin' for the uninformed:
STEP 1. Get an axe. Mine was old and rusty, but if you don't want tetanus, perhaps buy a new one. If you want to be
**^MEGA AWESOME^**, do not buy a block splitter unless you are choppin' blocks of wood.
STEP 2. Find a tree. If you're smart, don't start with a big one, just find one maybe as thick as your forearm, as I did. Or find one with a branch that thick, and chop the branch.
STEP 3. If you are choppin' a big branch, (as I did), then swing the axe behind your head until the back of the head (yes moron, the BACK of the pointy bit) is almost touching your back. Be sure to grab the bottom 1/3rd of the axe, as this gives more momentum.
STEP 4. SWING the axe around, gaining momentum as you finally drive it into the future firewood. Remember to keep your feet apart, so that you are not choppin' your shin.
STEP 5. Repeat Steps 3-4 until branch is chopped good and through. This is a refined skill, and is like golf in that you have to try and hit it in the same way every time. Like golf, except violent.
STEP 6. If cutting down a tree, you have to chop as if teeing off in golf. I'm not going to instruct you on that, go do it yourself.
STEP 7. Repeat Step 6 constantly until tree is chopped down WITH A VENGEANCE!!!
STEP 8. By now you should be mega-strong and have a small pile of firewood. If your firewood is neither small or pile shaped, keep choppin' it until it is. If you have no firewood, go out and chop you lazy bugger! When firewood is pile shaped, and reasonably sized, proceed to STEP 9.
STEP 9. Inherit bragging rights, make a fire, rinse and repeat, until you have massive biceps, a bonfire capable of burning witches, and YOU FREAKIN' HATE WOODCHOPPING.
The instructions above are titled 'How to chop' aka 'How to be a man among men' or alternatively known as 'How to be awesome.'
Final note, if you follow these steps and succeed, then you owe me nine hundred dollars.