Alex: on 2010

Here are my educated predictions for 2010:

1. Smoking laws will be upped; if you say the word 'smoke' within a 100m vicinity of other people, you will be interpreted as advertising cigarettes to children, and sentenced to death.

2. People will complain about hospitals.

3. The drinking age will be raised to 40. 41-year-olds will applaud this move and talk about how it finally brings justice about, etc.

4. People will complain about the education system. Nothing will happen.

5. Facebook will be dead, because people will realise that it's just a less-fancy myspace, with less stalking.

6. K.Rudd's children's book will sell 1 million copies before someone decides that there are connotations associated with a female dog (a protagonist of the book), and all copies are burned. K.Rudd will be hated for no apparent reason.

7. Political Correctness will remove our interpretation of colour. We will hereby refer to people of all races as "equally coloured". The same applies for colours, until eventually buying paint will most likely be described as a hate crime when you ask for a coloured paint.

8. The ice caps will melt. Someone will complain, and it will be recorded as a hate crime among seawater. The offender will be hated by all.

9. Someone will point out that hip-hop sucks. Once again, hate crime.

10. Alcohol will be served in plastic glasses. People will cut them apart and scratch others with them.

11. People will realise that Kanye West - Taylor Swift jokes are NOT THAT FUNNY. GET OVER IT!

12. The Simpsons will continue to make episodes, regardless of quality. This is not necessarily a bad thing.

13. If you say the words 'young', 'child' or 'old', you will be shot. The new term is 'differently aged'. (On a similar note, disabled people ARE disabled, sorry but you are not differently abled, it is a disability when you are unable to perform certain bodily functions e.g; walking. It does not necessarily impair you, but it does not mean you are 'differently abled'.)

14. The man who originally said the word 'smoke' and was sentenced to death escapes the charge after claiming a discrimination charge.

15. There will be a miraculous increase in the Food industry, when police find knives in people's bags and they claim to be chefs. "I need this knife for work, and if you've got a problem with that, then that's discrimination."

16. Fat people will be told to "slim up" but they won't, and if you have a problem with that, then they'll sue you.

17. Advertising of alcohol and junk food will be banned in Australia, and it will be celebrated by having a massive party where McDonalds caters and Bundy provides free rum. Children under 18 "discouraged".

18. Saying the words 'McDonalds' or 'Bundy' will be known as advertising alcohol and junk food. Lawyer'd.

19. Instead of going to the bank to collect money, you will just sue someone. This will be the new method of financial gain, until you yourself get sued for something e.g; when someone breaks into your house for drug money and stubs their toe on your 'faulty' flooring.

20. Tiger Woods will be continually ridiculed, for a while longer.

That's all for now. More soon.