People I hate: The one-sided conversationalist BY ALEX

Hello again,

Following in traditional innovative ramblings style, I have decided to do a post based around people I hate. You would've thought that Anthony would've put them all down in his comic entitled "People I hate" or something along those lines, but no, I have another one to add.

The one-sided conversationalist

What is a one-sided conversationalist? Let me give you an overview. A friend of mine (chances are if you are reading this blog it's not you I'm speaking of) is a one-sided conversationalist. A typical conversation would go like this:

Anonymous friend (hereby referred to as AF): "Hey Alex!"

Me: "Yeah?"

Thinking: "Oh no, not this again..."

Interest levels: 6/10

AF: "My [insert relation here] is [insert compliment here]!"

Me: "Sweet."

Thinking: "I wouldn't really know, as I've never met any of your relatives, so this isn't really any sort of good conversation..."

Interest levels: 1/10

The conversation continues in this general manner for about an hour before either he or I or both decide to continue elsewhere. Now some people who do this might not do it on purpose, and I have accidently done it on various occasions but when it happens this often there's obviously something strange. Here's another branching form of the one-sided conversationalist: The 'funny man'.

Funny Man (hereby referred to as FM): "Sup Alex!"

Me: "Hey!"

Thinking: "Crap! here comes FM and I'm in the worst of moods."

Interest: 6/10 declining fast to a 4/10

FM: "[insert remark of reasonable wit here]"

Me: "[insert feeble forced laugh here]"

Thinking: "God I hate laughing..."

Interest: -1/10

Now don't get me wrong. The funny man might actually be funny. I'm just not the laughing type. I mean, I do laugh when I hear a really good joke, or watch a reasonably funny movie, and sometimes when other people laugh I manage to laugh along, but when it's just me, it's painful.

In conclusion, I hate one-sided conversationalists. They are just generally painful. I will blog again soon, most likely on another newsly topic. Sadly, I don't hate as many other people as Anthony just yet.

~Alex