16MG INCOMPETENCE RED: or how the Australian Government needs to look busy in the eyes of the non-smoking taxpayer ~ALEX

Hello again. As we speak, the Australian Government is strongly considering the legislation for plain cigarette packaging. Honestly, I can only describe this as the government attempting to please the public while doing very little for the cause of anything.

First of all, cigarette brands will still be existent. Those of appropriate age (i.e. 18+) and those with correct ID to prove this (if you are under 25 you will be asked for ID) will head down to the shop WHERE THE CIGARETTES ARE ALL BEHIND AN UGLY BLACK CUPBOARD, before buying their packet of Marlboro Extra Tar. Of course, you may have noticed I capitalized the most important point. In almost all major supermarkets and many newsagents, cigarette packets are kept behind a black plastic shelf in order to mask the 'pwetty culorz' from the small children who will obviously be so tempted to buy cigarettes with their pocket money. Sorry junior, but last time I checked you're only 2. You need to at least progress beyond formula before you start thinking about cigarettes. On an interesting side note, this never happened and I doubt it will to most people. Most factors that influence cigarette smoking are not packaging related.

And this brings me right to the second point, the 'raise the drinking age to 21' point, as I have so aptly named it. Why is raising the drinking age to 21 pointless? Anyone who has ever seen an American College movie (or indeed real life) will back me up when I say that THEY WILL JUST BUY IT UNDERAGE. The government may be living in a fantasy world of heavy policing and law-abiding citizens, but unfortunately many people have the potential to break the law, and if pushed, many will. Sometimes this push involves, oh I don't know, raising the drinking age to 21? Maybe you could just go out, get a fake ID, and go buy yourself a bottle of Jagermeister or whatever your poison is before K.Rudd notices that those primary school kids who were attracted to those 'pwetty culorz' have gone out and bought IMPORTED CIGARETTES. That's right. Imported.

Many tobacconists will stock a more extensive listing of brands than many major supermarkets, convenience stores or newsagents. For those sticklers out there, here's the Australian RRP listing for cigarette brands for our market [http://www.c-store.com.au/industry/tobacco-pricing.pdf]. I can think of several brands that don't appear on that list, and all of those brands are smoked by the high school kids that the government is trying to 'save' by implementing this legislation. These brands are imported from other countries (notably asian countries such as Japan (Mild Seven) and Korea (Wigo) and will therefore most likely not be included in such laws. Kids will get their colours, and their cigarettes. The laws are therefore then, in effect, pointless.

They've also done studies on these plain packets, claiming that they reduce 'street cred'. No, they won't. As the cigarette market gets policed more and more tightly, they turn from something which you know is bad and think to yourself 'hmm...i'd better not...' to something that is 'dangerous'; i.e. has the excitement of danger attached to it. Buying cigarettes will morph into a whole different game, and the game will be associated with more and more danger appeal. And besides, it's already been announced that obesity is a greater cause of premature death in Australia (even more than cigarette smoking). Can't you do something about that?

Comment if you agree/disagree/have any points of interest. I'm happy to hear feedback, argument or anything else relevant. I haven't proofread this (nor will I) so if you see any typos, you can put them up and I'll revise it.